Category: 2020

the murdering murder hornets

UNDID ME! After months of pandemic pandemonium, strange meteorological phenomenon, food/supplies/deep freezer/paper clip shortages, untenable and unconscionable violent acts perpetrated by those sworn to protect and a million other things both big and small, the presence of FREAKING MURDER HORNETS just pushed me over the top.

I JUST COULD NOT! I COULD NOT NOT. I STILL CANNOT! WHO? WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

Was 2020 supposed to be a “Choose Your Own Adventure” Series? Or did an angel accidentally spill open a bowl (Rev 16)? Whose people needed to be let go so the plagues would quit? These questions and more were asked and remain unanswered.

All I know is when insects decide it’s okay to kill their cousins by ripping off their heads and feeding them to their own babies, IT’S A WRAP!!! We just need to quit. Whatever is going on, just stop. I can’t take it anymore.

You can call me: Black Phoenix (Wasp Killer).

Yesterday as I was sitting outside communing with the babies, I saw a couple of wasps around the peppers. I was hoping for bees but maybe wasps mean bees are coming? Idk. I didn’t think anything of it. This morning when I went to greet the babies and give them a bath, for some reason, I happened to look up and there I saw – to my horror – a newly forming wasp nest right above the door!!

0127_wasps1

Now you KNOW this wasn’t gonna be tolerated. Quick google search and Thank God, I just so happened to have – WD40. Intel says wasps don’t move fast in cooler weather so it was either I take them out tonight or now. My blood said, “now.” No prisoners. Attack in the cool of the morn! I head out there with my WD40 sniper and raising my right arm lifted high and out, spray that sucker at least 10 times – each time spraying and moving back; spraying and moving back, in case the wasps get crunk. Dodge and spray. Dodge and spray – drenching the nest. One wasp flies away. Two fall dead. At least one is dead on the nest. In an hour or so, I need to return to the scene to remove all evidence of the assassinations. This is wasp killer, BlackPhoenix – Out.

1d60b521-6c7d-4f6d-aa82-0b02bfcce40d_1.f6b6113a6e83789b721bc89eb362dbbe………

Black Phoenix, Operation Wasp Merking – Status update – so I just opened the back door and there was one hovering. I quickly shut the door, waited a moment, cracked it ajar to find that number had increased to two BUT they were hovering drunkenly. I shut the door quickly and proceeded to leave the apartment via the front door, walk around to the back of the building, moved stealthily up the wooden stairs to my apartment; readied the WD40 and took all the agents OUT. All evidence of bodies has been disposed of and the command center eliminated (after a few preliminary attempts, I knocked down the nest with a broom handle for removal. It was surprisingly adherent but had since shriveled during the intervening moments from the initial WD40 onslaught).

………..

BP Log – Supplemental:

Given the nature of this year, it is perhaps surprising that I should have been shocked by the presence of the invaders, but I was. This is 2020, one could say that I should be ready for any and everything but alas, I was not. Even in the midst of the madness of the external world, I was still taken aback by the presence of the wasps so close to base camp. Further intel states that wasps are agile in their movements, able to set up a command center within 48-72 hours. I am pleased to have eliminated the threat and will continue to parole the outer limits.

BP out.

658012f9f4150c81d7220b03c90c7f47

2020 Did NOT Come To Play

2020-bruh

The year is now 2020. I return to this blog for one reason and one reason alone – to catalogue the madness that has been this year. I cannot even begin to list everything horrific that has happened so far BUT here is a list that I lifted from someone’s facebook post from April of this year:

April 2, 2020. 
Gas price a mile from home was $1.89.
School is cancelled – yes cancelled and for 7 weeks so far- no plan to return until at least May 4th!
Social distancing measures are on the rise.
Taped markings are on the floors at grocery stores and what few other stores are open and the purpose is to help distance shoppers (6ft) from each other.
There are a limited number of people allowed inside stores, therefore, lines are now formed outside the store doors with door guards present.
Non-essential stores and businesses are mandated to stay closed including restaurants!
Parks, trails, Beaches and in some cases entire cities locked up.
Entire sports seasons are cancelled.
Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events – cancelled. It’s April 2 and Bourne has already cancelled 4th of July fireworks!
Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings – cancelled.
No masses, churches are closed.
They said no gatherings of 100 or more, then 50 or more, then 10, then 20 or more, now 5 or more.
Funerals- OMG you have to elect only the few necessary family to even attend any type of funeral service.
Town halls are CLOSED. S
o are bank lobbies!!! You can’t go inside!
Disney World is closed.
Children’s outdoor play parks are closed. Play structures are wrapped in caution tape. No playing on ball fields, basket ball courts etc.
There are no visitors allowed in nursing homes or hospitals. None.
There is a shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers.
Shortage of ventilators for the critically ill.
Panic buying set in weeks ago and we have a toilet paper shortage, no disinfecting supplies, no hand sanitizer.
Shelves at times are bare in the stores.
Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.
PMP closes the border to all non-essential travel.
Hotels are now ordered to close and there are no Airbnb reservations allowed either.
Fines are established for breaking the rules.
Stadiums and recreation facilities open up for the overflow of Covid-19 patients.
Press conferences daily from the President. Daily updates on new cases, recoveries, and deaths.
Government incentives to stay home.Barely anyone on the roads. People wearing masks and gloves outside.
Essential service workers are terrified to go to work.
Medical field workers are afraid to go home to their families.
This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020.

We are now in the middle of a blazingly hot Summer with no end in sight for the madness that has subsumed the earth and particularly this nation. Over the course of the next few weeks, I will endeavor to detail the events that have happened since then along with my personal musings and daily shenanigans.

We all thought we could decide the ‘epicness’ of 2020. We were wrong. 2020 came to dominate, not to pander.